


Diversion Manoeuvre

by saturnina



Category: Psych
Genre: Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-11-20
Updated: 2011-11-20
Packaged: 2017-11-22 15:29:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 891
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/611339
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/saturnina/pseuds/saturnina
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>And to think that Shawn had passed up wonderful opportunities of solving cases and indulging in delicious pineapple smoothies just so he could spend the day with Mr. Crabby Holster...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Diversion Manoeuvre

"My God, this is _so_ fake."

"Well, yes, it's a TV show not a documentary."

"You don't say!"

Shawn rolled his eyes at Carlton, who was not so much watching as actually _staring_ into the television, as if it was a perp, as if he had to intimidate it somehow so the programming would magically switch into something more akin to his tastes. Which it didn't, obviously, because creators and producers of such series, being solely interested in pleasing audiences and making money, were not really concerned about the sensibilities of die-hard cops who could not stand watching their work being—

"—ridiculed by people who obviously don't understand what they are talking about!"

"Sheesh Lassie, lighten up! It's a _show_ , meant for entertainment, not education!"

"Yes, but people are watching this and probably believing it's the gospel truth!"

"You realise that this is not a fact, it's your opinion—"

"I find that my opinion tends to stick closely to irrefutable facts."

Shawn sighed, letting his body sink heavily into the couch, wondering why, oh _why_ he enjoyed torturing himself so much. Carlton's mood, which had never been cheesecake and hot chocolate to begin with, was positively dour today. It's as if he was making an extra effort at being unpleasant, because somehow his sprained right wrist gave him diplomatic immunity to be a complete asshole. And to think that he, Shawn Spencer, had passed up wonderful opportunities of solving cases, being cherished and loved for his uncanny brilliancy, of indulging in delicious pineapple smoothies and giant banana splits with Gus just so he could spend the day with Mr. Crabby Holster.

"How about something unrelated to you job... hum... _Pretty Woman_?"

Carlton's face twisted itself in an expression of utter outrage, with such intensity that any further tension in his facial muscles would make him a Quasimodo look-alike, perhaps without any chance of unscrewing his face back to normalcy. Or so Shawn thought.

"You gotta be kidding me...!"

" _Ghost_? It has romance and murder."

"No!"

Shawn rummaged some more through the big bag of DVDs he had brought to Carlton's place.

" _Law & Order_, first season?"

There was a tiny halt in Carlton's string of snappy replies, which Shawn noticed, because he always noticed these things, and that made him grin victoriously. Oh, how delicious it was, to catch Lassiter in his rare moments of uncertainty, torn between wanting something and feeling stubbornly compelled to prove that he didn't want it. Only it was useless, because Shawn knew _that_ look, and had him sussed out at the first sign of hesitation.

"The one with Chris Noth?"

"Yes."

Carlton took his sweet time, purposefully humming and hawing and deliberating a bit more, before giving his verdict.

"No."

Shawn threw his arms up dramatically, huffing loudly while Carlton perfected his Mona Lisa expression, minus the mysterious smile.

"Oh, c'mon Lassie-pants, you are making this hard on purpose!"

"No, I just don't want to watch it."

The younger man immediately realised that any attempts of negotiation would from now on be doomed to failure, because Carlton could be worst than a mule stuck in mud when he was determined to neutralise Shawn's efforts at agreement. He'd have to employ guerrilla tactics if he was to win this war, which he _would_ , because he had not given up a delicious pineapple smoothie to be rewarded with Carlton's petulant indifference.

"Lassie," he said, sliding across the couch towards the cop, "don't tell me that watching detective Mike Logan solving cases and being all hero didn't have _anything_ do with your desire to become a cop..."

"Not really, I was already in the Academy by then."

"Yes, I know, but you weren't a detective."

Carlton looked at Shawn, his eyes narrowing as he tried to read the other's eyes, the look of unabashed innocence in them immediately arousing his suspicion.

"No, I wasn't," he concurred.

"So, how about watching it for the sake of old times?" Shawn reasoned. "Just that! We both know that your everyday work is so much more serious than any television show could portray, but still they _did_ inspire you to become a serious cop, a champion of justice and not just another bossy guy with a gun and a badge..." 

Carlton seemed to be honestly mulling over Shawn's words (he couldn't help himself when such talented tongue was caressing his ego), unaware that they were but a diversion manoeuvre. When he noticed Shawn was already astride on his hips, blocking the television screen completely, face way too close to Carlton's.

"I thought you wanted to watch Chris Noth...?"

"Why, when I can watch Carlton Lassiter instead?"

Shawn swooped down to kiss Carlton, capturing his tongue softly with his teeth, then stretching his mouth as if to swallow the other. And Carlton let him do it, until they were both almost passing out from lack of oxygen, because he had always been a bit vulnerable to that kind of logic.

"Aren't we going to watch _Law & Order?_" Carlton asked, rhetorically.

His lover was already moving down to bite and nuzzle the spot behind Carlton's left ear, relishing in the shudder that rocked through the body beneath his.

"In a minute, Carlton," he uttered between kisses and nips, "in a minute."

But the minute never came, lost in a torrent of far more interesting hours.

**Author's Note:**

>  **Disclaimer:** None of the characters mentioned in this fanfic belong to me, and nothing said here about them is true. No copyright infringement is intended.


End file.
